Last year on this day, my dad left this world.  

The next day, Valentine's Day, I wrote and submitted his obituary to the funeral home.  I must have known it was Valentine's Day because I made little love notes for my boys and bought them heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, I have photos to prove it.  But to be honest, the day is a complete blur in my sharp memory.   I also wrote a piece and published it on my blog, raw and loosely edited, processing - something about him being like a fragile bird and me holding his hand one last time.  Honestly, I've not gone back to read it since the week of his death.


I pulled up photo files of him this morning, looking at them with a sad calm and acceptance of what is.

I made sweet notes for my boys and slipped into the chocolate shop for little heart-shaped boxes of edible love.  I am here, and if there is one thing about me that has changed the most between last year at this time and now, it is that I love harder.  Way harder.  And I feel a lightness deep in my soul that was never there before.

Today Sully and I held hands as we left the house for his Valentine's Day party at school.  He told me I was his valentine, I squeezed his hand in acceptance.  A chickadee jumped from branch to branch singing chik-a-dee-dee chick-a-dee-dee.  I looked up at the blue sky and smiled.  Thank You, I said, for everything.

Wishing all of you much love this day and every day.  xo, katie


  1. Sending you love today and always...

  2. It's always good to love more, deeper, harder. Can never have too much love. Beautiful post. Happy Love Day.

  3. Loving harder is the sunrise after a long, dark night. Blessings to you, Katie.

  4. oh. so sweet and sad, too. I'm very close to my dad. I can't imagine. But it's the way of life. So hard to understand.

  5. it seems like he knew the right thing to say to you to fill up your heart with love. xoxo