2.13.2013

Love.

Last year on this day, my dad left this world.  

The next day, Valentine's Day, I wrote and submitted his obituary to the funeral home.  I must have known it was Valentine's Day because I made little love notes for my boys and bought them heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, I have photos to prove it.  But to be honest, the day is a complete blur in my sharp memory.   I also wrote a piece and published it on my blog, raw and loosely edited, processing - something about him being like a fragile bird and me holding his hand one last time.  Honestly, I've not gone back to read it since the week of his death.


Now. 

I pulled up photo files of him this morning, looking at them with a sad calm and acceptance of what is.

I made sweet notes for my boys and slipped into the chocolate shop for little heart-shaped boxes of edible love.  I am here, and if there is one thing about me that has changed the most between last year at this time and now, it is that I love harder.  Way harder.  And I feel a lightness deep in my soul that was never there before.


Today Sully and I held hands as we left the house for his Valentine's Day party at school.  He told me I was his valentine, I squeezed his hand in acceptance.  A chickadee jumped from branch to branch singing chik-a-dee-dee chick-a-dee-dee.  I looked up at the blue sky and smiled.  Thank You, I said, for everything.


Wishing all of you much love this day and every day.  xo, katie

7 comments :

  1. Sending you love today and always...

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  2. It's always good to love more, deeper, harder. Can never have too much love. Beautiful post. Happy Love Day.

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  3. Loving harder is the sunrise after a long, dark night. Blessings to you, Katie.

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  4. oh. so sweet and sad, too. I'm very close to my dad. I can't imagine. But it's the way of life. So hard to understand.
    XO

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  5. it seems like he knew the right thing to say to you to fill up your heart with love. xoxo

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