Tuesday Stuff

I'm quite sure that the least popular way to start a sentence is - I don't feel very good.  But I don't feel very good, and I've never cared much about popularity.

This business of mamahood is a tough gig at times.  Like currently.  Theo is still having a tough time adjusting to all day school life.  We're all having a tough time.  The balance at our house has been jostled.  We are so completely out of whack.  But I finally had the aha! moment I've been praying for.  It occurred to me over the weekend to stop trying and just let it be.  And what I mean by that is tone down the praise and 'you're so brave' hype.  Instead, I've welcomed silence and space for him to say something negative (which there is alot of each morning before and on the way to school).  When he does accomplish something with bravery I've acknowledged the act with eye contact and a smile and silence.  If it's a really bad moment, I ask him to breathe (I do too).  So far we're making it.  We're getting there.

In all this chaos these past three weeks, Sully has connected with Barney.  What can I say?

I've become a wee bit obsessed with the Momofuku Milk Bar cookbook.  I can honestly say that I've never worried much about being a great baker, but this book makes me want to learn as if I attended the French Culinary Institute myself.  I set a goal to make every recipe in the book.

Lastly, I've been away from the blog and not just because I'm going crazy over making assorted "crumbs" and losing my heart and mind over parenting.  I've been busy doing things like this.  But don't say I didn't warn you just in case you have the slightest bit of baby fever.

Happy day, friends.  Thanks for being here and letting me vent.  xo, Katie


  1. Being silent and letting be are also ways of being brave. Cookies don't hurt, either.

  2. Sorry it's been such a difficult transition. It will get better over time. Those Momofuku chocolatechip cookies with the corn flakes are to die for- the best!

    xo Lilly

  3. Know that I get 'this.' Last year was the hardest as our firstborn begun all day school. I, too, felt like we began to adjust and lean forward into tomorrows with hugs and, "it'll be alright," instead of pushing her forward into what she wasn't ready pretend to be. I wish I could send a hug. Tough times for sure, and Theo is so lucky to have you both as parents.

  4. I love how you're giving T space to have difficult feelings about kindergarten. Even if there are fun parts, which I'm sure there are, there's so much newness for him to process.

    Last year when Col left his sweet, small Montessori school and started public school 2 days/week, he was so stirred up and having lots of uncomfortable feelings and taking out a lot of his stress on Rose. It was really hard for me. I was worried and hurting for him and wanting to rescue him and feeling very negative about his public school program for about 3 months.

    And then finally I realized that 1) I needed him to go to school 2 days/week so I could work. 2) I couldn't solve the discomfort for him and this would be part of his growth, this problem solving and dealing with his personal fears/unhappiness (my intuition was that he was being called out for being small at school) 3) If i had a positive attitude about school, even if just in my own thoughts, it would help both of us.

    Upshot is that this was helpful for all of us. He's really happy and comfortable there this year.

    I think you're very brave and wise.


    1. Yes to 1, 2, 3! He's attending an amazing school. For that, I am grateful and excited for him. He's silly passionate when he tells us what he's learned each day - I knew he would love learning. Change and over-stimulation are his challenges. So far this week he's been doing really good. I can tell he's proud of himself.

  5. Mama, I've found the parenting transitions are hard, even when it's easy on the kid. That achey pain, the place I want to tuck my kids forever. I love that you are allowing Theo to feel whatever it is and I imagine it is so hard to smile and make eye contact instead of gush about something. At least it would be for me. Love you. Love your heart. xo

  6. You can vent all you want, i don;t feel too good either and it's ok to aknowledge it.
    Back to school hasn't been easy on my middle child. He was napping all the way until the first day of school and a full day at school is tough. Major major meltdowns after four.
    I will take your advice and just let it be ;o)