School has begun. I'm pretty out of sorts about it all - I knew I would be. Soon I will write about Theo's first day of kindergarten, this whole first week of newness, which will be followed by Sully starting preschool next week. But for now I am just finding my new pace, feeling more quiet in my day, adjusting to our family's new rhythm. And in the middle of the mixed emotions and feelings and time schedules, I am trying to feel my heart in all this freshly kicked up emotional dust.
Sully and I drove home from our favorite local nursery yesterday with a Honeycrisp apple tree hanging out of our car. I originally set out to buy ornamental kale and mums, and with a simple wish: that strolling rows of beautiful plants would ease the tugging on my heartstrings a bit. I also thought a visit to the nursery would distract Sully - heartbroken Sully who has cried every morning this week after Theo parts ways with us.
Eric and I have been wanting to add a fruit bearing tree to our yard. He's talked of a plum tree. I've thought this a wonderful idea; we were even going to set out this weekend to find one. But yesterday as we were leaving the nursery I spotted trees across the street in their landscaping area with a "Sale" sign. Instantly I took Sully's hand and crossed the road. Right away I saw the dwarf plum tree my hubby would want, but something pulled me further down the row where I found the apple tree. I stopped the first person I found working and said I'd like to buy it - the apple, not the plum.
You see we don't exactly have a big yard and I know how big an apple tree can get. But in the moment I saw these children of mine who are growing up so quickly. I saw them climbing this tree's branches as it grows sturdy and strong. I saw our old wooden ladder and baskets on the ground during the picking season. I saw myself in my element which is in the kitchen slicing, dicing and baking. I saw myself packing lunch boxes.
I came home and posted these words on Facebook: It's a good day when you drive home with a honeycrisp apple tree hanging out of your car. :)
Because it is.