Heavy. Light.

This morning I ordered him a backpack for Kindergarten.  My options were preschool, small, large, rolling.  I rolled over the images, magnifying the different sizes while my mind reeled back to the first time he used his preschool size pack.  We were boarding a flight, a few months before he would actually begin school.  He was shaking with excitement to get on the plane, so anxious to wear his backpack and find his own seat on the aircraft.  Such a big boy moment.  We got in the boarding line and I handed our tickets to the agent.  At the top of the jetway we paused briefly as I helped him loop his arms through the straps.  His head held high, he walked forward a few steps then fell over backwards and suspended, the weight of the pack bringing him down like a bird carried away in the wind.

This morning as I typed Theo and chose a font and the color orange for the monogram on the small shark backpack, it was me who felt like a struggling bird in an emotional current.

It rained last evening.  It rained and the air wore a chill.  I sat on the front steps with goosebumps and a glass of red wine.  Calm set in.  Butterflies fluttered about.  Robins flew from roof to tree, wet earthy worms dangling from their beaks.  Windows pitched open, the sounds of my little ones and their dad and bath time happiness spilling out into the air above me.  I fetched my camera and walked.

Chef Theo's Basil Soup

They just showered me with kisses.  The garage door closes.  I can hear the car turning away from our house.  I have the afternoon to myself. 

::: The giveaway is still open, spread the word!  I will be back on Monday to announce the winner. :::


  1. it's funny how getting him ready for kindergarten is a bunch of baby steps, each getting you closer to the first day of school. register, buy the backpack, school supply shopping, uniform shopping...it's going to be a big day for you and for him.

    those quiet afternoons are precious and hard to come by, enjoy!

    1. Exactly. Mostly, I am trying to wrap my mind around him being away from home 7 hours a day, 5 days a week. Gulp. Baby steps!

  2. I've ordered Nolan's as well - wanted to be sure to get the one he really wanted. I am struggling too with this transition - in some ways he seems 5 going on 35 (especially lately) but in other ways I keep looking at him thinking he's too little to go!

  3. Oh my, the backpack on the jetway! Your flower photos are lovely, as is the Basil soup!

  4. I was standing right there as you wrote about your trip to the airport, you described it so vividly. You have such a beautiful way with words. I remember that feeling, when my oldest went for her first day of kindergarten my husband got in his car followed the bus and stood at the school to make sure she got in okay. When she got home she told me, Mommy I saw Daddy at the school!!

    It's hard to let go even a little.

    Beautiful flowers, I adore those little pink ones that drop down like pinecones. Hope you enjoyed your afternoon of quiet.

  5. I love this so.
    Many times it's been me in similar shoes. Taking that next step in this parenting journey... not knowing if I'm ready. If my heart were a glass full of love it is overfloweth. For sure.
    The pictures are lovely.