6.09.2012

Flow

Last November I mentioned to my sister that I was thinking about stopping blogging altogether.  "No!", she said, simply.  Creativity was abundant, my mind racing with thoughts and words and images, but they were sticky, overly personal.  This part of me that shares so much was closing down.

And then came my dad's passing.  Almost four months ago now.  Changed forever.

Deeply on my mind and heavy in my heart as his birthday is coming up along with Father's Day.  It's the little things...his name on the screen of my phone for easy dialing which cannot be erased even though I'll never call him again, the shakes and knot I get in my throat when I look up at the clock now and then and see that it is 6:30pm - our daily talk time, something I grew to love now missing.  Our last two phone calls, his words, his sound, I cannot get out of my mind.  I feel he is near.  Sometimes at night there is a feeling in my house, a presence.  I say hello, miss you, love you, don't do something weird like materialize and scare me.  I imagine him visiting all of us -his children- smiling down on his grandkiddos and making up for lost time. 

Now.

I can see that I was on the right track.  I feel a new flow and an abundance of energy.  Renewal is a wonderful thing.


Happy weekend to You.  Eat some watermelon, sit on a stoop in the shade and spit cherry seeds, catch a dream...

xo,
Katie

4 comments :

  1. We are smiling with you too!

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  2. I wish you shooting stars from that stoop of yours, and though I know none can be seen at 6:30, surely they're waiting in the wings at that time for you. I am loving this new space you've created -- horizonally broad and crisp and creative. I love the way your words accompany your photos and I'm with your sister, just saying and emphatic YES to moving forward, continuing on, in ever-changing light.

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  3. I'm glad you didn't stop blogging, I would have missed something wonderful. I empathize with your feelings of your father. After more than two years, I still experience similar things about my husband. I love your pictures. Life does go on, and he's still a part of it.

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  4. I am also glad that you are still blogging. ;) I love the way this post touches on the fragility of relationships and the way we really want to be near people (bloggers/readers and living/deceased) in some ways - and in some ways, at some times - not. I always feel a sort of graceful, peaceful balance when things are flowing. And a bit of panic when things are not. Hurray for the current!

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