In disclosure of full honesty, I gladly shut the door this morning on my family as they left for the day. The silky threads atop their heads smothered with my kisses, still on my lips. I actually locked the door. And then I ran.
You see, for the last month I have been researching computers. I am a PC user, tried and true. But my computer is seven years old and starting to have all sorts of issues that cause me to do extra yoga and drink more espresso. Plus, my boys are always hounding me to use my computer these days to do things like Create a Car and Spelling City, and now my N key is hanging like a front tooth by the root. I have to take deep breaths when I work because I do not like broken keys or the way I look over at one of them on my computer touching the keys while simultaneously picking their nose and then plastering their sticky germ-infested fingers all over the keyboard. In short, I do not like to share my computer. I've always thought I could never live without my kids or coffee. But in truth, I don't think I could live without my kids and my computer. One half of my life, which is to say one half of my heart and soul, beats in sync with letters, a space bar, Lightroom, and the stark whiteness of an empty screen waiting to be filled.
So it was decided that since I was in need of a new computer along with Eric's voice ringing in my ear that my business needed an expense for 2014, we would give my tiring laptop to the boys and I would buy something new. But here's the thing, I am not a techie person. In the past, Eric has picked out our computers and I've been more than happy to let him. All I knew was that I had plenty of storage for my photos and how to access any blank page, which is all I cared about. This time, though, I wanted to do it all on my own. It was going to be exclusively mine, for my business, for my creative pulse. I began to spend time researching the latest PC' s and Mac's. I talked to tech support at Apple and Microsoft. I went to the Apple store and the Microsoft store. I learned about RAM, gigahertz and retina displays. Then, when I made the decision to buy a Mac, I watched sales. The day before Thanksgiving, I put a shiny new Macbook Pro in my virtual cart and hit purchase.
Last night when our doorbell rang and the boys saw the UPS man, they screamed and cheered, "It's here, Mom! Your new computer is here!"
I even wanted to start with a new desk this morning. Before Eric left to take the kids to school and then for work, I asked him to please help me carry our old farmhouse table with the sides that fold down upstair to our bedroom. In the corner and in front of the window where the sunlight spills in just so is where I like to edit photos and write. I wanted more room to spread out. I wanted a whole new start. As we were getting ready to carry the table upstairs, Eric said I should switch sides with him because I was on the end that would have to lift the heaviest part of the table upstairs backwards. A silent pause. Or not, he said.
I opened this sleek silvery computer this morning and pushed the Start key the first second I was able to hit the get-my-family-out-of-the-house Stop key. I went through the prompts to get started with a smile plastered on my face. I have no idea how to use a Mac, but I found Pandora and a blank page. Here on this old table the color of butterscotch and memory, I have my coffee to my left, the sun to my right, and my whole self beating with eager bones and new ideas in front of me.